Jesus surrounded himself with tax collectors, sinners, children and the young, people affected by physical disabilities, the demon-possessed, women, the poor, etc.
“If you are neurodivergent, you will likely be treated with quiet disdain or avoided with a smile.”
Yes. And here’s the thing… a lot of people don’t figure out they are neurodivergent until later in life. Some may never figure it out. So they are extra mystified as to why they are othered. And it shouldn’t matter. It’s incredibly hurtful.
Thank you for loving the LGBTQIA community! Their abysmal treatment and othering was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back for me; I’ve never heard such vile and judgmental and misinformed comments from “the world” against them like I did in the church. It chilled my heart unlike anything else.
Absolutely. I love them, and they know it. They are also the sweetest kids, and the last thing on their agenda is to "evangelize" their straight friends.
That has always been my conviction. As a follower, disciple of Jesus, shouldn’t we be emulating his Godly characteristics for transformation of our mind, thoughts, speech and actions to be more like Christ in love, grace, compassion, mercy…. in our walk with him through the years?
When my family and I lived in Fayetteville, NC 24 years ago, the evangelist made it obvious he did not care for LGBTQ. He would shy away from hugging and showing love to a brother who was formerly, a part of the LGBTQ community as though he had some sort of disease! This brother challenged the evangelist on his lack of love towards him but it fell on deaf ears. There was no repentance, no apology from the evangelist, yet he was preaching on love! Eventually, the brother left the Church. He saw hypocrisy and so did my family.
Another evangelist from a congregation I was a part of in Korea before preached that all Muslims were a part of the axis of evil and they will go to Hell! He has never lived overseas and made a judgmental, ignorant comment. Needless to say, several ‘learned’ Christians felt offended and disturbed. A friend confronted him for explanation but he got defensive and self righteous. Some Christians left the fellowship. No one has the right nor power to judge who goes to hell or not. Only God.
This strikes a cord. I'm an extremely quiet person, always have been, and it has been an issue with church since I studied the bible in the late 90s. It took a women's ministry leader standing up for me so I could get baptized, but I was told it was something I would need to work on.
Then after I was baptized, I started having panic attacks from cold contact sharing. My discipler told me. "All you have to do is ask people to church. It isn't that hard." I was literally having panic attacks. Yes, it WAS that hard.
Another time, a preacher said during a sermon that being an introvert is a sin. People made it more than clear that the way I naturally am is wrong and unacceptable, even sinful.
All of this was more than 10 years ago, but it sticks with a person.
No one ever said it in so many words, but I was definitely given the impression that being shy was a sin. I’m definitely an introvert, but oddly, I’m more extroverted now that it’s not expected of me.
And I HATED cold contact sharing. I did it, but I HATED it. I thought of it as “hit-and-run evangelism”. I still resent that our “spiritualness” was connected to the number of people we invited daily, the number of people we studied with, and the number of people we baptized. (Maybe I resent it because I never converted anyone. I might feel differently if I had.)
As usual you bring up complex issues.... it's important to have healthy boundaries for both ourselves & our kids. I have gay friends who I respect and give big hugs to all the time. Others may have internal issues and the same hug could be a temptation leading to sin. In today's culture I screen out my kids friends when there may be any unhealthy influence of any type.
Maybe we could add, when someone decides to worship in a different church, how do you treat that person? Because the amount of people I know that have been "cut off" and are suddenly persona non grata from people that were 'friends' that 'loved' them for years and even decades could fill a small phone book. Let alone those that became despondent and quit attending church altogether.
The 2nd greatest commandment, upon which all the law and prophets hung on, and the quality upon which they would know we were his Disciples is the love we would have for one another. But suddenly we have excuses we make when they aren't there in our Sunday worship circles. Something is wrong either with our attitudes, our approach, or our understanding of love. I venture to say it's all of them based on my experience.
“You say, “Oh, but I am not like that!” or “My church is not like that!”. I guess the real test would be to ask the people in those situations, and then see what they say. I have been around for a long time, and I have seen what I have seen. I have also heard many people’s stories!”
This is great. And, sadly and happily, I can relate to the spectrum of responses to marginalized groups - with some intersectionality in my own experience.
I think the fear (admittedly the problem) is that the church becomes indistinguishable from the world and an ‘anything goes’ philosophy prevails - something that has occurred in libertine forms of Christianity (progressive Christianity). So we think rules and lines will preserve its divinity.
Of course the entire Old Testament proved rules can’t do the job.
Apparently only faith in Christ and the ensuing sanctification can.
But we resort to control what’s in our ‘power’ and faith and love seem far too risky.
I still think as humans we have always erred in both extremes, perhaps demonstrating why the narrow road is narrow.
I think we have to uphold Christ’s standards. Sadly we pick and choose and focus on a few things that make us uncomfortable while ignoring bigger and more serious issues. We concentrate our criticism on issues of “purity” for example while ignoring the neglect of the poor. And many other examples of course.
“If you are neurodivergent, you will likely be treated with quiet disdain or avoided with a smile.”
Yes. And here’s the thing… a lot of people don’t figure out they are neurodivergent until later in life. Some may never figure it out. So they are extra mystified as to why they are othered. And it shouldn’t matter. It’s incredibly hurtful.
You make a great point.
Thank you for loving the LGBTQIA community! Their abysmal treatment and othering was the proverbial straw that broke the camel’s back for me; I’ve never heard such vile and judgmental and misinformed comments from “the world” against them like I did in the church. It chilled my heart unlike anything else.
Absolutely. I love them, and they know it. They are also the sweetest kids, and the last thing on their agenda is to "evangelize" their straight friends.
They really are the sweetest, across the board. I like hanging out with them so much more than I did many of my churchy acquaintances.
That has always been my conviction. As a follower, disciple of Jesus, shouldn’t we be emulating his Godly characteristics for transformation of our mind, thoughts, speech and actions to be more like Christ in love, grace, compassion, mercy…. in our walk with him through the years?
When my family and I lived in Fayetteville, NC 24 years ago, the evangelist made it obvious he did not care for LGBTQ. He would shy away from hugging and showing love to a brother who was formerly, a part of the LGBTQ community as though he had some sort of disease! This brother challenged the evangelist on his lack of love towards him but it fell on deaf ears. There was no repentance, no apology from the evangelist, yet he was preaching on love! Eventually, the brother left the Church. He saw hypocrisy and so did my family.
Another evangelist from a congregation I was a part of in Korea before preached that all Muslims were a part of the axis of evil and they will go to Hell! He has never lived overseas and made a judgmental, ignorant comment. Needless to say, several ‘learned’ Christians felt offended and disturbed. A friend confronted him for explanation but he got defensive and self righteous. Some Christians left the fellowship. No one has the right nor power to judge who goes to hell or not. Only God.
This strikes a cord. I'm an extremely quiet person, always have been, and it has been an issue with church since I studied the bible in the late 90s. It took a women's ministry leader standing up for me so I could get baptized, but I was told it was something I would need to work on.
Then after I was baptized, I started having panic attacks from cold contact sharing. My discipler told me. "All you have to do is ask people to church. It isn't that hard." I was literally having panic attacks. Yes, it WAS that hard.
Another time, a preacher said during a sermon that being an introvert is a sin. People made it more than clear that the way I naturally am is wrong and unacceptable, even sinful.
All of this was more than 10 years ago, but it sticks with a person.
Oh I am so sorry. This is so hard to hear. And that was so unfair. As an introvert myself, I can relate. Thank you for sharing.
No one ever said it in so many words, but I was definitely given the impression that being shy was a sin. I’m definitely an introvert, but oddly, I’m more extroverted now that it’s not expected of me.
And I HATED cold contact sharing. I did it, but I HATED it. I thought of it as “hit-and-run evangelism”. I still resent that our “spiritualness” was connected to the number of people we invited daily, the number of people we studied with, and the number of people we baptized. (Maybe I resent it because I never converted anyone. I might feel differently if I had.)
I don’t think many people enjoyed cold contact evangelism!
I am so sorry you had to endure this.
As usual you bring up complex issues.... it's important to have healthy boundaries for both ourselves & our kids. I have gay friends who I respect and give big hugs to all the time. Others may have internal issues and the same hug could be a temptation leading to sin. In today's culture I screen out my kids friends when there may be any unhealthy influence of any type.
Absolutely, as parents, we need to guide our children, but often, the ones who are made into bogeymen are not the ones we should fear.
Maybe we could add, when someone decides to worship in a different church, how do you treat that person? Because the amount of people I know that have been "cut off" and are suddenly persona non grata from people that were 'friends' that 'loved' them for years and even decades could fill a small phone book. Let alone those that became despondent and quit attending church altogether.
The 2nd greatest commandment, upon which all the law and prophets hung on, and the quality upon which they would know we were his Disciples is the love we would have for one another. But suddenly we have excuses we make when they aren't there in our Sunday worship circles. Something is wrong either with our attitudes, our approach, or our understanding of love. I venture to say it's all of them based on my experience.
“You say, “Oh, but I am not like that!” or “My church is not like that!”. I guess the real test would be to ask the people in those situations, and then see what they say. I have been around for a long time, and I have seen what I have seen. I have also heard many people’s stories!”
Mic. Drop.
This is great. And, sadly and happily, I can relate to the spectrum of responses to marginalized groups - with some intersectionality in my own experience.
I think the fear (admittedly the problem) is that the church becomes indistinguishable from the world and an ‘anything goes’ philosophy prevails - something that has occurred in libertine forms of Christianity (progressive Christianity). So we think rules and lines will preserve its divinity.
Of course the entire Old Testament proved rules can’t do the job.
Apparently only faith in Christ and the ensuing sanctification can.
But we resort to control what’s in our ‘power’ and faith and love seem far too risky.
I still think as humans we have always erred in both extremes, perhaps demonstrating why the narrow road is narrow.
I think we have to uphold Christ’s standards. Sadly we pick and choose and focus on a few things that make us uncomfortable while ignoring bigger and more serious issues. We concentrate our criticism on issues of “purity” for example while ignoring the neglect of the poor. And many other examples of course.
An incredible article.. .great and amazing insight....your reasoning I believe is why so many young people do not want to be a part of a church...
Good point!