Too Busy to Question
The hectic lifestyle of my high-control church prevented me from taking the time to question. I was so grateful my life had changed that I threw myself into the ministry. I have always given 100% and more. I do not regret giving my time and effort to help others, but now that I have more space to think, read, and learn, I am doing the investigating I should have done a long time ago.
I accepted a lot of things without questioning enough or doing enough research. After all, we were on a mission! The only thing that mattered was changing my life and then changing the lives of others. These days, I have more time to think and strengthen the foundation of my faith. Sad that it is happening after 40+ years, but there we go.
Questions such as where the Bible came from, how it came together, the origins of our denomination, the teachings on women, the LGBTQIA+ community, atonement, etc. There was never enough time to delve deeply into those topics as a married woman with five children, planting churches in distant parts of the world. My schedule was always full. I was never idle. Making it day to day was just about all I could do. Having time with God to read and pray daily was already a challenge. I did it, but I could not go beyond that.
I know I was not the only one. In fact, most people in the church did not have much leisure time. Our schedules were always filled with activities. Our lives were so controlled. In my case, I want to take responsibility. I enjoyed it. I love action, hard work, and a full life. No one forced me to work as hard as I did.
Looking back, though, I wish I had stopped to use the brain God gave me. I have several degrees, I am intelligent and educated, and yet I fell for teachings that I now consider shallow and erroneous. I also know that I set a bad example by not questioning more. And of course, questioning was always deemed as “divisive”, so there was no incentive to do so.
I was reminded of this as I have received several phone calls from smart and educated young people who grew up in the church. They read my Substack. They ask excellent questions, and I am proud of them. They are using their minds and showing a lot of intellectual integrity. They want their faith to be authentic and not just blind acceptance. I believe they will be faithful followers of Jesus for the long term.
So please let us take the time to stop, think, and evaluate. Why do we believe what we believe? Did we just accept things because someone said so, or do we really know? Have we done the research? Have we asked the right questions? Are we curious and learning?
Thank you Nadine for your courage to step up and reveal what was really happening and how it impacted you. There's no doubt that we all had good intentions of seeing God's word spread and changing people's lives for the better. But I think for a lack of deeper teaching , -how to do exegesis, ( rather then eisegesis) -we got stuck and weren't able to teach beyond the basics of Guard the Gospel(GTG), ( which by the way , I love as a foundation to teach about God). I was shocked to hear from one of our ICOC teachers, that only 11% of the current evangelists have studied any academic theology , beyond that of the basic GTG. How can the blind teach the blind?
In my opinion the above situation, gave rise to stunted spiritual growth, we wouldnt know if the Spirit of God was trying to tell us something, even if He came in a cloud of fire or personally hit us with a burning coal of fire to the lips.
We didn't see things or teach the truth about women even if it was there in the bible in plain sight. In my opinion, women were denigrated to body parts, not mauch different to the way women were treated in the Godless world of the Greco-Romans era.We didn't allow people to use their gifts for the church unless they were staff members, who were not always qualified to teach on certain subjects. I remeber a lovely couple coming back from their honeymoon and in a matter of days were asked to lead a marriage workshop with individuals who had been married for many years. 'Nuff said.
My eyes have been opened to all of this recently, and I can now see very clearly how God is using the gifts He gave me to help and support others. In the past I would have waited for validation from staff members, but now I know God wants to use everyone, and so has given us gifts-women and non-staff alike, to carry out His good will.
I would encourage every Christian to ask God to reveal His will for them and for their hearts to be ready, and willing to act. Don't wait around for affirmations- obviously share with people that you trust who will be honest and encouraging with you, but you don't need to conduct a referendom. If it's from God, NOTHING, and I'll say it again, NOTHING will stop it. It might be you have to wait, or He might say no ( might be something better along the journey ). But at least you will know, but you wont know if you don't try. Amen..
The issue is more than busyness. There needs to be more than lip service to following the example of the Bereans. Here’s a prayer I encountered this morning that seems timely: Lord, I pray for those that have been hurt and disappointed whilst seeking reconciliation with others in the Church, those whose efforts to obey your instructions have led them to burnout, depression, and exile from community. Jesus, bring healing in your name.