A couple of days ago, a well-known pastor of a large church in Texas, Brady Boyd, resigned after allegations that he knew of the past misconduct of another pastor, Robert Morris, and yet remained quiet, while this predator pastor kept on leading. Today, Brady Boyd is held accountable for his silence. He knew Robert Morris had assaulted a young woman, yet he supported his employment as a minister. You can read all about it here.
This resonated deeply with me. I have shared this story before, but when I was a young woman training for the ministry in London in the 80s, the man who led the church at the time sexually assaulted several of my friends. For some reason, I was spared. Looking back, this man definitely tried to groom me, but did not succeed. I only found out about my friends years later when my husband and I started leading the same church in London in 1996, and some of the survivors opened up to me.
What this man did was wrong. It was sexual assault. Look up the definition. Some say, “Why don’t you name names?”. My goal is not to “punish” or retaliate against a particular individual. My goal is to expose a religious system that allows this kind of behavior, and even enables it. So it is a much bigger issue. Evangelicals love to highlight “personal responsibility” so as to avoid group accountability.
When I and a few others spoke up in the late 90s, it took six years to remove this man from full-time ministry. Nothing of significance was ever said publicly, and no apologies were issued to the survivors of his abuse, as far as I know. Shortly after, the global fellowship underwent a crisis where the leadership structure was dismantled. Lo and behold, as often happens in such cases, this man started leading churches again.
In 2007, he was hired to lead one of the largest churches in our worldwide fellowship, the church where the fellowship itself started. Many protested, victims and advocates. Letters were written (one was made public a few months ago), and phone calls were made. To no avail. After all, this man was “charismatic” and “inspiring”, and the church needed inspiration!
The problem is not just that this man abused young women (I do not know the exact number, but I personally know several myself), but the larger issue is the cover-up. How could elders and church leaders hire a man whilst victims protested? Of course, move the clock forward, and this man’s leadership was revealed for what it was. Others spoke up along the way, because along with sexual misconduct, other issues came up. As far as I know, he is not employed in any leadership role as of a few months ago. Until very recently, he was still preaching to large crowds and mentoring young people.
And may I add that the elders did a disservice to that individual? The best thing, and the loving thing, for him would have been to step aside and get some help for himself and his family, as well as stay away from ministry responsibilities. Some people are just not meant to be in spiritual leadership.
I have raised concerns about the lack of accountability over the last few years, and one prominent “elder” asked me why I cared. Well, sir, I care because my friends were assaulted. I care because this is wrong. I care because no one ever got an apology. I care because this hypocrisy has nothing to do with the Jesus I follow. When I became a Christian, I wanted to do right and have moral values for the first time in my life. The Sermon on the Mount appealed to me. That is why I care.
To add to my indignation, the sexual assault allegations were put down to “a youthful lack of judgment”. That man was in his mid to late twenties; he was not a kid! He was also a church leader, so the power differential was huge!
So, back in January (this January in 2025), I wrote a letter to the senior leadership of the church that hired this man back in 2007. Four of the survivors co-wrote and signed it with me, as well as a brother who is an ally. We asked that, once and for all, could we admit to what happened, apologize, and offer reparations to the survivors. This is not about suing (although victims have every right to do so), this is about repentance!
And guess what? Crickets. Nothing. The email reached around 60 people, and I know the recipients distributed it beyond that number. No response. Silence. The only two people who wrote back were two men who are not part of that church. They, of course, agreed with me, as many do. We did not actually need anyone to write back; we just needed action!
So you mean to tell me that out of the senior staff of a very large church, not one person was stirred to compassion? Elders are supposed to watch the flock. Elders’ wives, women leaders, who themselves are mothers, no one cared? I don’t know about you, but as a mom and grandma, when a young person is hurt, the mama bear in me comes out. This has led to much transformation in my life in the last few years.
Leaders, elders, women in church leadership, why the silence? Can you find it in your heart to protect the victims of abuse and denounce these awful practices of cover-up? The perpetrators are one thing, but the enablers are just as guilty. Meanwhile, hundreds, if not thousands, of victims globally have struggled to rebuild their lives. Can we do better? We have publicly and rightly condemned other denominations for covering up abuse and leaving predators n positions of authority, yet we have done the same thing (Romans 2:1-4). All it takes is a handful of advocates to stop the abuse. Once the ball gets rolling, it will gather momentum. I am not going to lie, it feels kind of lonely here sometimes!
And if you are still part of my former fellowship, this story is not an isolated one, unfortunately. I am aware of many other similar situations. Please make an effort to learn, be curious, and do not bury your head in the sand. This is happening all over the world. It is a parody of the faith Jesus died for. If you are not a perpetrator (and I know most are not), then use your voice and ask for accountability. And elders/overseers, please show some courage and some integrity!
I know we’ve discussed this previously and how lives have been devastated by SA. I know some of the victims are no longer with us due to the pain of carrying such a heavy burden. it’s heartbreaking and disgusting at the same time that in most of these cases, justice has not
been done. I know God calls us to forgiveness, but this would be a hard one for me…
one of my best friends daughters ended her life after years of abuse and then many more years of not having it addressed! it’s shameful! and the worst part is, the arrogance of some of these leaders!
when I explained why I was leaving the congregation (not God) the response was: “ well you know there’s no perfect church”! Shame on you! Do better!
He who conceals his transgressions will not prosper, but he who confesses and forsakes them will obtain mercy
Proverbs 28:13